Running Diary: Week 2 (2021 Fantasy Football)
(The Fantasy Football Running Diary is an ongoing series by Tim Metzler, in which Tim shares and records what is happening in the NFL every Sunday. It may also include updates on his personal life.)
Welcome to my Running Diary for Week 2. We’re looking at just the games played on Sunday, September 19. Paying attention to everything that’s happening in the NFL is tough. You’re busy. Don’t sweat it. You keep doing you, and let me do the work for you. Here we go!
12:05 (CST) – Kickoffs begin! My wife and I are packing boxes for an upcoming move. This day is going to get out of hand fast. Wish us luck!
12:05 – My fantasy apps have started pestering me about a 32-yard catch by Christian McFirstPickFrey. Glad he’s back. Note to self: get the first overall pick every year so McCaffrey is on my squad.
12:07 – Sam Darnold tosses the first touchdown of the day. It’s also the first touchdown scored against the Saints.
12:11 – Cleveland runs in a touchdown. Big surprise. Can you guess which running back did it? Wrong. It was their fullback. Janovich. Crazy that the Browns roster is comprised of Baker Mayfield and then 52 guys who can run the ball.
12:13 – Everyone is eating early. Wowza. T-Law to Marvin Jones and Dalton to A-Rob for simultaneous touchdowns.
12:21 – The Texans continue to defy expectations. Phillip Lindsay grabs a catch for a 22-yard score. They know they’re supposed to be tanking, right?
12:34 – Just packed a bunch of old books. I love old books. They smell like happy memories. And mold.
12:35 – Just noticed Zach Wilson has thrown two passes. Both caught… for interceptions. How long until he starts seeing ghosts? #DarnoldReference
12:54 – Texans are beating the Browns 14-7. If Tyrod Taylor leads them to more than one win… he’s an MVP candidate. Just kidding. But… he is.
1:24 – Had to pack up the glassware. Nothing as stressful as cramming glass into a compact container. Well, except for maybe seeing that the Panthers are leading the Saints 17-0. Like… WHO ARE THE SAINTS?!? I’m so confused by this team.
1:24 – The Patriots are boring again. Which means they will probably win the ‘ship this season. Yuck. Mac Jones may be the first quarterback to throw for 4,000 yards and 10 total touchdowns.
1:25 – Justin Fields is getting more playing time due to Andy Dalton’s mysterious knee tweaking. He’s done very little, and the offensive line isn’t helping him out. It’s the first time I’ve felt this season that Dalton might actually give the Bears the best chance of winning.
1:26 – Last week, Waller had 10 catches on 19 targets. This week, he has one catch on three targets. It’s halftime. This is why Kelce is the TE1. Consistency.
1:49 – Darrell Henderson has a touchdown, 49 yards rushing, and three receptions for 29 yards. The big “IF” is IF he can stay healthy all year. But he’s playing the Colts, who have a solid defense. This man looks like a steal in whatever round you got him.
2:04 – What an exciting day for fourth-to-fifth round running backs. Damien Harris continues to be an efficiency monster. The guy can run. He had 100 yards last week and a touchdown this week. He is the safest RB2/FLEX play you can make.
2:30 – The 49ers are putting the Eagles in their place. And, apparently, they’ve put Trey Sermon on the bench. Zero touches and the game is about over. Congrats to anyone with Eli Mitchell on their roster. You won the 49ers’ running back roulette.
2:32 – Justin Fields is 5 for 11 passing for 60 yards and 26 yards rushing. Oh, he also has a fumble lost….and this is all against a Bengals defense that’s supposed to be bottom-five in the league. The future in Chicago is… more of the same?
2:33 – Joe Burrow has thrown three straight interceptions. Like…three passes, three interceptions. This Chicago defense is relentless. I said all off-season that Cincinnati’s offensive line would prevent Burrow from being a top-12 quarterback. So far, that assumption could not be more correct.
2:34 – Browns update. I picked them in multiple Survivor leagues this week. They lead 24-21 against the Texans. I’m starting to think the Texans are good.
2:37 – Jimmy G is the 49ers’ starter. Trey Lance is officially a long-term bench stash. I hate everything I just wrote.
2:38 – The Buffalo Bills are brutalizing the Dolphins. This is hard to watch. I can’t wait to see the Bills just miss the Super Bowl at the hands of Mahomes.
2:40 – The Broncos lead the Jaguars and Trevor Lawrence has two interceptions on a 14 of 33 passing line. Lawrence has five interceptions on the year. The league has banned taunting this season, but they should have banned Urban Meyer.
2:45 – Zach Wilson has four picks. That means Bill Belichick gets to bottle his soul forever. Or something like that. Bill’s a freak.
2:45 – Burrow bombs it to Ja’Marr Chase for a long touchdown. If this line ever gets fixed, the Bengals are going to be the most exciting team to watch.
2:46 – I slammed two LaCroixs in a row. LaCroix is sparkling water. Packing is hard work. I can’t stop burping.
2:52 – I packed my socks. All of my socks are old. I need new socks. Oh, also, the Bears are about to blow a 17-point lead. This is the most Bears thing ever. Justin Fields doesn’t look good.
2:57 – David Montgomery just saved the Bears from defeat. Someone pour out some Malort in honor of this man. What is Malort, you ask? It’s a Chicago thing. It’s awful. It’s disgusting. It’s not actually made in Chicago. But it’s a Chicago thing.
3:00 – Minor crisis. No, not MINER crisis. Respect the spelling. Please hold.
5:30 – Life update. My wife and I had to pick up some more boxes from Home Depot, but they were out of boxes, so we had to go to a second Home Depot. Then we got salads because existence is pain, and so should the occasion of dinner be.
5:35 – Getting caught up and putting in some laundry. My phone won’t stop notifying me of Kyler Murray’s continued fantasy prowess. His draft value was up this year (about Round 4-5) and so far he’s been worth it. Currently has four total touchdowns. Imagine if Kliff Kingsbury was actually a good coach.
5:36 – Kirk Cousins is surrounded by what could truly be the best roster in the league. It’s debatable, but not by much. He is the reason they’re going to miss the playoffs and not because of mistakes. Just because he’s always going to fall barely short of what is necessary to win.
5:37 – Falcons are down against Brady’s Buccaneers 25-28. I want the Falcons to win more than I want a $10 cupcake right now. And my middle name is Cupcake.
5:38 – Brady and Gronk are easily two of the biggest draft steals this season. Gronk with a second straight two-touchdown week and Brady with four passing touchdowns already. If you drafted Gronk… TRADE HIM. His value will never be higher, and neither will his production.
5:43 – Ding dong! Derrick Henry showed up this week. 76 yards and a touchdown so far. Weirdly, I expected much more against this suspect Seattle defense. Only time will tell.
5:45 – Chargers vs. Cowboys is locked at 14-14. I wish the Chargers threw more. Herbert is fun to watch. I’m still worried Dak is made of glass.
5:48 – Forget what I said about the Falcons. No way they come back. Brady drops it into Godwin’s hands like an angelic cherub baby onto a cloud. Five touchdowns for the GOAT.
5:56 – I’m starting to worry that Justin Herbert will have a rough year. This Dallas defense has intercepted him twice. He’s got the yards and one touchdown. His ceiling feels better in real life than in fantasy. Again, this is the Dallas defense. They aren’t supposed to be good.
6:20 – Obviously, life is impossible, and I’m out of shirts for the month. Starting more laundry.
6:21 – Oh, I forgot to say that Tony Pollard has out-rushed Zeke. Imagine if the Cowboys actually used that information in an intelligent way. They won’t. But just… IMAGINE.
6:30 – We are all puny insects living in Derrick Henry’s universe. Remember when I said I thought he’d do more against this Seahawks defense? Yeah, “more” was an understatement.
6:31 – Why is it that every time King Henry goes off, all of my fantasy opponents have him in their lineup?!?
6:32 – The Seahawks can’t actually run the ball. They just pretend that they can.
6:35 – I got the wrong size boxes from Home Depot. Going to return them now. Still want a cupcake.
7:05 – DERRICK HENRY OH MY WORD WHAT?! Three touchdowns, a billion yards and the Titans upset the Seahawks. I can’t handle this right now.
7:35 – Chiefs and Ravens have started, and it’s clear this is a Tyrann Mathieu game. He only has a “game” once in a blue moon, but this is it.
7:45 – Okay. What was that play?! A fumble that was recovered for a touchdown?! That might be the only way Duvernay has fantasy relevance.
8:00 – Mark Andrews is supposed to be good, right? Is there a reason he’s never targeted? Asking for a friend. The friend is me.
8:15 – Called it. Mathieu with two picks.
8:30 – I want Clyde Edwards-Helaire to be better than he is.
8:45 – The Chiefs are just really good. Up 21-14. Ravens driving.
9:15 – This game is interesting, but now my wife needs to watch her nightly programs. Switching to viewing from my phone while I re-pack cans. You ever pack cans? It’s not a good time.
9:30 – Tuning in again. Every person should wish upon any star they can find that their team gets a quarterback that’s even half as good as Mahomes.
9:45 – Any Travis Kelce touchdown makes the stars shine brighter. This game is fun, and I want 100 more yards rushing from Lamar Jackson and 17 more touchdowns from Mahomes. This game is how football is meant to be played.
10:05 – Lamar with 100 yards on the ground. Mahomes with three touchdowns. The thing I love most is that both of these teams have solid offensive lines. When the linemen are good, the game is good. You heard it here first… and probably last.
10:07 – Oh my… could the Ravens upset the Chiefs?! No. Wait. Maybe!?
10:08 – LAMAR RUNS IT IN! Going for two.
10:09 – Never go for two. Anyway, here comes the reason why all of us watch these games: The Mahomes comeback.
10:20 – FUMBLE!!! The NFL is nailing it with their Sunday night games so far.
10:23 – Ravens win. A note on Clyde Edwards-Helaire. He was a top-five pick in fantasy drafts last year and fell to the late second to early third round this year. He’s been weak-sauce in the first two weeks, and the Chiefs have a tough schedule all year. If you can trade him for someone with more upside, do it. I don’t know if he has a path to anything beyond a spotty RB2 on your roster.
10:30 – Well, thanks so much again for joining me on my Running Diary. I really love this piece and hope that it brings you some small bits of joy. If you have any questions or ideas I should consider, please let me know. Also, please let me know what the best cupcake you’ve ever had is. Have a great week and see you next Sunday!
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