If you didn’t come in first place, your fantasy season was a failure. That is the mindset every fantasy football player should have if they want to win championships. Unfortunately, things happen, and sometimes you can’t win your league because of injuries and other factors. However, coming in last place should be your worst nightmare. If your league doesn’t have an embarrassing last-place punishment, you need a new commissioner.
Last-place punishments are a great way to have fun with your league mates. It’s also an excellent way to keep people from quitting the league once their team has been eliminated from the playoffs.
Disclaimer
It’s important to note that all last-place punishments should be fun and agreed upon by everyone in the league. It shouldn’t be illegal or cross a line anyone in your league isn’t comfortable with. Do NOT duct tape the league’s last-place finisher to an interstate billboard as a punishment. Last place punishments are supposed to be embarrassing for the loser and fun for everyone. Know where the line is, and do NOT cross it.
While last-place punishments should be fun and embarrassing, always consider the other option. A great last-place punishment can also be helping out someone in need.
Many fantasy league winners will donate part of their winnings to charity. Sometimes they donate the winnings to the favorite charity of the best player on their fantasy squad. Others will donate to big-name charities like St. Jude Research Hospital (a personal favorite of mine).
My recommendation is to have the last-place finisher (loser) donate the amount for the league’s entry fee to St. Jude Research Hospital. Then, they must perform one of the following three punishments.
1. Drinks on You!
Everybody loves a free drink, so why not a free night of drinking? Do you want a sure-fire way to make sure everyone competes till the final week of the fantasy season? Loser has to buy drinks for everyone in the league and can’t drink themselves.
That’s right! Not only does the loser have to watch the bar tab go through the roof, but they also have to be the designated driver.
If a league mate doesn’t drink or is not old enough to drink, pick a restaurant that also serves liquor. The non-drinking members can order a Shirley Temple, dinner and dessert instead.
At the end of the night, make sure the bartender/server and the rest of the establishment know you are all drunk because your league mate sucks at fantasy football.
2. A Date for One
Regardless if it’s the first date, you have been together for months, or have been married for a decade, everyone loves date night. Well, except if it’s a date for one.
The league winner gets to pick the restaurant where the league loser will have to dine. Ideally, you should pick a place where a friend works as a server. If you don’t have a friend to help you out, be ready to bribe the employees.
The loser needs to ask for a table of two. They also need to explain their date is running a tad late. After the server leaves the table, place a full-size blow-up doll in the seat next to the league loser. Be sure to pick out the most eye-catching doll. You want everyone to notice.
During the entire date, the loser must pretend the doll is a real person. They need to treat it like a date, talk to them and order them dinner. If they fail to meet the rest of the league’s expectations, dinner for the league is on the loser.
Hopefully, the server is willing to play along and make the embarrassment even worse. See if the server will gather the staff to sing Happy Birthday to the league loser in front of the entire restaurant. If they do, make sure to get it on video and post it on social media.
For an added bonus, make the league loser wear this shirt for their date.
3. 40-Yard Dash Through Hell
Football fans love to watch the NFL combine every year. NFL Network’s Rich Eisen does an excellent job raising money for St. Jude Research Hospital by running the 40-yard dash. Fans submit videos of themselves running the 40-yard dash, and it’s an overall great job by Eisen and his team.
However, what if you made it like running through Hell?
The league’s loser must run a 40-yard dash. However, this isn’t your typical 40-yard run. The rest of the league can throw things at the loser during the entire run. Now, you don’t want to hurt your league mate, so don’t throw rocks or anything you would see in a WWE wrestling match at them.
Instead, paintball is a great idea (but make sure the loser has protective eyewear on), or tomatoes and other fruit work too.
If you really want to embarrass the loser, have them run the 40 yards in as little clothing as possible. Doing it in a public place like a shopping mall parking lot increases the embarrassment level.
Also, it didn’t happen if it’s not on video, so make sure you record the run and post it on social media. Maybe even send it to Eisen next February and see if it lands on NFL Network for the entire world to see. Now that would be embarrassing.
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Mike Fanelli is a featured writer at FantasyPros. For more from Mike, check out his archive and follow him @Mike_NFL2.
