At the heart of it, fantasy football is a way for most football fans to escape the rigors of their daily routine. Picking players and managing a team throughout the NFL season gives us a chance to satisfy a competitive craving. There are serious aspects of the game like strategy on draft night and how to spend our FAAB dollars during the year. There are also less serious aspects.
Like naming your fantasy team.
Over the years I have been in leagues with some clever names (Take Mahomes, Country Roads), some names that were a little raunchy (Show Me Your TD’s), and some that were appropriate for their fantasy acumen (Last Place Losers).
For me, picking a team name is one of the most difficult pre-season tasks to accomplish. At one time I was using Auto pick Dynasty or Paper Champions as my primary team names but once I had kids, I decided to give them naming right of my times. Thus, the Dancing Monkeys and the Slippery Bananas were born.
No matter what thought process (or lack thereof) goes into your team’s name, just know that most league mates will associate you with that team. Most times when I am discussing roster moves or trades I simply refer to the person I am dealing with by their team name. It is almost as if their given birth name ceases to exist. As an example, a friend of mine named his team ‘Slummers’ one year, and it kind of stuck. Now I no longer refer to him by his first name. He is forever known as Slum when I am referencing him in a conversation.
Below I will outline some tips and strategies for picking a name that can be clever, funny, raunchy, or somewhat serious depending on who you are. To be fair, most people aren’t nearly as clever, funny, or raunchy as they believe themselves to be which is what makes this exercise so much fun. As Brad Paisley once said: We’re so much cooler online.
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1. Find a lane and stick with it.
As I referenced earlier in the article, you can be clever or funny. You can be raunchy and inappropriate. You can even be serious, even though that isn’t any fun and most of your league-mates will make fun of you.
But what you can’t do is be all of the above.
If you truly are clever, coming up with a name that hits the mark will gain you some street cred in your league. It will also become a persona of sorts which is what makes this fun. If you want to be raunchy, those names are easy enough to find with a simple Google search. Be careful with this, however, as you could out yourself as a dork who isn’t nearly as cool as you think you are. No matter what, however, stay in the lane you choose.
2. Wittiness is good… and timeless.
The Office is my favorite TV series of all time. Some of the one-liners from the show will live forever among people in my demographic. Fantasy team names can be largely the same. If you decide to make a joke about an NFL player for something they are well known for can even be somewhat therapeutic. Naming your team Junior Bacon Roethlisbergers is something that will never get old and is a harmless way of poking fun at Big Ben.
One caveat here is that some names are funny but definitely NSFW. If your company has a strong internet filter, open your fantasy app at your own risk.
3. Originality helps.
It Ertz To Pee isn’t original. Neither is Show Me Your TD’s and Joe Buck Yourself. Those are all played out and, at this point, aren’t even that funny. Try to find a new slant before other teams in your league do. It will help you stand out and not look so juvenile.
4. Making fun of other managers is acceptable.
In your home league, if you have the chance to come up with a name that gets a subtle dig on one of your fellow teams, then by all means do that. One year I played in a league with a manager who would change his team name every week to throw shade at his opponents.
Psychologically I think it even gave him a slight edge because, by mid-season, some owners were legitimately angry about his tactics. In my opinion, this was fair game and creative as could be. It took some effort to find things to poke fun at but the result was classic.
5. Don’t name your team after your favorite team.
You’re not the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. You’re running a fantasy team. Do some work and get the creative juices flowing.
And finally… don’t be offensive. It probably should go without saying but racist, homophobic, and misogynistic-themed teams have no place in fantasy. Keep it clean and have some fun with it.
Here is a listing of some of my favorite team names for this year. Feel free to use one of these or create a variation of your own from one of mine.
Best Fantasy Football Names
- Goodell Castro
- Rogerk Off
- Bo Exotic
- Rollin’ With Mahomies
- Paper Champions
- The Book of Zeke
- JuJu Smithsonian-Schuster
- Junior Bacon Roethlisberger
- More Than A Thielen
- Hyde and Zeke
- CARRonavirus
- Baskin Dobbins
- Josh Jacobs Jingleheimer Schmidt
- Happy Golladays
- Inglorious Staffords
- Nuk If You Buck
- Honey Funchess of Oats
- Dak In A Box
- Take My Money
- Kittle N Bits
- Got This Drink In My Kupp
- Kittle Big Town
- Mayfield of Dreams
- Fant Touch This
- Knockin’ On Evans Door
- Turn Your Head and Goff
- All Ducked Up on Some Quack
- Party Like A Gronk Star
- Little Red Fournette
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Jason Kamlowsky is a featured writer at FantasyPros. For more from Jason, check out his archive and follow him on Twitter @JasonKamlowsky.
