If you want to dominate your fantasy football drafts this year, put down the buffalo chicken wrap and take notes. You need to know which players you need and which players you need to avoid. Today, we’re focusing on the latter. No, Steve, not “ladder.” This is fantasy football, we’re not climbing anything. Sheesh. Just google it, Steve.
I see the same tragedy year after year: hard-working, self-respecting fantasy managers draft players that are destined to burn them in the end. Don’t be that guy. To help, I’ve compiled this sad little squad of players that I refuse to draft this year and in years to come. Never again shall their names grace my lips on draft night. This is my “Never Again Team.”
(I am making these severe (but fair) judgements based on a hypothetical 12-team redraft league with single-QB rosters and .5 PPR scoring. These opinions should not be considered for dynasty, devy, auction, or superflex formats.)
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Derek Carr (QB – LV)
I’m not going to say “hear me out on this one” because anyone who says that doesn’t actually believe what they’re about to say. Instead, let me say this: don’t draft Derek Carr. You can use him as a streamer if you’re extremely desperate, but if he’s your starting QB in a single-QB redraft league, your season is already over. You’re not going to win the championship with Carr as your QB. That’s also why he’s on my Never Again Team. So don’t draft him and don’t roster him except for the occasional fill-in during a bye week. My reasoning is this: his offensive line got worse in the off-season, he has no bonafide stud at WR (not including Darren Waller), he doesn’t have the rushing or passing volume upside to be a top option, he’s perpetually on the trade block and he plays in the toughest division in football. As the QB23, you’d be better off taking a shot on a rookie with rushing upside, or making sure you hit the position a bit earlier with a guy that could actually finish in the Top-12 at the position. My issue with him is not that he’s a bad player. He’s not bad, but he’ll never be good enough to win you a fantasy championship. Burn him before he burns you.
David Johnson (RB – HOU)
Man, can we just signal the bagpipes to start playing and finally bury this poor guy’s career? It’s felt like he’s been slowly retiring for the past three years. Here’s a rule for 2021: don’t draft anyone on the Houston Texans. Well, maybe take a look at Brandin Cooks but THAT’S IT! Unfortunately, being a Texan is not my only complaint about the guy who finished as the RB19 in 2020. He’s currently the RB33 in ECR and that might even be too high. Last year, he had Deshaun Watson making defenses think twice about focusing on stopping the run. This year, his quarterback will be…uh (checks notes) literally anyone other than Deshaun Watson. It’s more likely that the Houston Texans lure Brett Favre out of retirement than have Deshaun Watson start for them. Why? Steve, again, just google it. The Texans also brought in Phillip Lindsay and Mark Ingram to bolster the backfield. Both guys could easily take some of David Johnson’s already near-worthless touches away from him. This is a lost year for David Johnson, but I also can’t imagine a future that looks much better. Sorry, DJ, YA BURNT!
T.Y. Hilton (WR – IND)
When I turned 18 years old and I was legally able to buy scratch-off tickets, I made a deal with myself: I would buy a one-dollar scratch-off ticket every day until I won. As soon as I won, I would never buy another scratch-off ticket. Simple enough. I bought 40 scratch-off tickets over 40 days and still never won. After the 40th straight loss, I decided to break the deal and stop wasting my money. Coincidentally, T.Y Hilton finished 2020 as the WR40. I’d rather have 40 worthless scratch-off tickets than him on my fantasy team. He’s the ultimate Boom-or-Bust-but-mostly-Bust kinda guy. In 2020, he had three fantasy-relevant games. With Parris Campbell returning from injury, Michael Pittman on the rise, and a new QB with major bust concerns, it’s time to put Hilton’s fantasy career in the permanent Garden Suites. Get it, Steve? Hilton Garden Suites? Forget it, Steve, I don’t know why I hang out with you.
Evan Engram (TE – NYG)
Evan Engram (says name aloud and shakes head). His career is like a book series that has an incredible first book, followed by five or six sequels that all seem like they should be better than the first but never come close. In fact, the sequels are so much worse than the first book that you just give up on the series altogether–without ever knowing how the story ends–because you just can’t take the mediocrity any longer. He’s on a team that added Kenny Golladay in free agency and Kadarius Toney in the first round of the NFL Draft. Saquon Barkley is returning from injury, which will eat into his underneath pass opportunities. Additionally, the team took aim at Engram directly by adding Kyle Rudolph in the off-season. All of that means that Engram has very limited upside. He’s the TE14 right now but it feels like that’s his ceiling. At a position with very few great players, he’s not worth the lottery pick. Honestly, he just drops too many passes. Shame. Never again.
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