Our four fantasy football analysts don’t agree on much (like, at ALL) – but what they do have in common is a strong, undying love for all things “The Office”.

The hit NBC show has been off the air for nearly seven years now, but it’s still considered one of the most iconic sitcoms in television history. And it’s also one of the most quotable, as you’ll see below; we’ve taken a dozen of the best quotes from “The Office” and asked Dan Harris, Mike Tagliere, Bobby Sylvester and Kyle Yates to provide fantasy football player outlooks to match.

Enjoy the hilarity, and remember: Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse.

“Everything I have I owe to this job…this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.” – Jim Halpert
One of the all-time greats, Drew Brees is back for what is almost certainly his final season. Although he’s no longer the fantasy stud he once was, thanks in part to an increased reliance on the Saints’ running game, he has finished the last two seasons seventh and eighth in points per game for quarterbacks, respectively. And although his last three seasons have resulted in the three best single-season completion percentages of all time, he might even be better this year, after the Saints added Emmanuel Sanders and drafted center Cesar Ruiz. Looking to add another championship season to his resume before he calls it a career, the boring, old veteran might be in for one last dominant fantasy year. – Dan Harris

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“Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn’t have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?” – Oscar Martinez
“Oh captains, my captains!” Mike Evans and Chris Godwin have been solid fantasy options for a few years now and that will continue on into this season. The Buccaneers bring in Tom Brady to command their offense and the loaded arsenal of weapons should have this offense towards the top in terms of scoring output. While Godwin is the most likely to finish as a WR1 for fantasy football, Evans shouldn’t be far behind him. This offense is going to be fun to watch in 2020. – Kyle Yates

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“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” – Michael Scott
The difference between Christian McCaffrey and the #2 fantasy running back last season (Aaron Jones) was larger than the difference between Jones and the #28 fantasy running back (Tarik Cohen). Essentially, if you drafted McCaffrey, you cruised into the playoffs without a sweat. The same is likely to be true this season which means if you have the #1 overall pick, you should be doing cartwheels. That is why your league needs to change from a snake draft to an auction draft. Make owners earn their trip to the playoffs with strategy instead of luck. – Bobby Sylvester

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“I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible.” – Michael Scott
Austin Hooper is going from a Falcons team where his 16-game pace was 119 targets as the lone tight end, to a Browns offense that now has three high-priority tight ends between David Njoku, Harrison Bryant, and himself. Kevin Stefanski is the head coach, and many have drawn the comparison to the Vikings two-headed monster of Kyle Rudolph and Irv Smith, which is fine because that was Stefanski’s offense, but the issue is that those two combined for 95 targets last year, and that’s while playing all 16 games. There’s also a greater supporting cast of receivers around them. I’d be skeptical that Hooper walks away with 80 targets this season, which removes him from the TE1 conversation. – Mike Tagliere

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“Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.” – Michael Scott
Odell Beckham‘s first year in Cleveland didn’t go quite as well as fantasy owners had hoped, as he dealt with injury and dysfunction en route to an underwhelming season. Although Beckham managed to finish 26th in half-PPR scoring among wide receivers, he was 35th in fantasy points per game at the position. And while Beckham’s career started out with a bang, he’s finished as the WR83, WR16, and WR26 over the last three seasons, despite being drafted among the elites each year. Whatever excuses you want to make for Beckham’s poor finishes in recent years (injury, coaching staff, etc.), the fact remains that the Browns’ offseason has been geared toward a more run-heavy approach under Kevin Stefanski, and the addition of Austin Hooper and retention of Kareem Hunt means fewer targets to go around for Beckham. The chances of him under-performing his ADP remain high. – Dan Harris

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“You know what they say about a car wreck, where it’s so awful you can’t look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.” – Pam Beesley
As Aaron Rodgers looks ahead to the final years of his career, it has to be like watching Michael Scott attempting to rap…not pretty. The Packers have now drafted his replacement in the first round and failed to surround him with any new weapons at wide receiver. While Rodgers certainly has the talent to overcome a lackluster receiving corps, outside of Davante Adams, it’s very difficult to forecast a world where Rodgers finishes as a Top-8 QB in 2020. – Kyle Yates

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“News flash: You are not special.” – Stanley Hudson
When Leonard Fournette came out of LSU, he was supposed to be a special running back. We saw glimpses of that his rookie season but since the injury-filled sophomore campaign, he just hasn’t been the same. Fournette has been inefficient behind the Jaguars’ horrible offensive line, but you know who else was not special? Todd Gurley, when he the least inefficient running back in football during the 2016 season before he broke out to become a superstar. Fournette doesn’t have the luxury of Sean McVay or a top-five offensive line like Gurley did in his breakout, but he may once he gets trades. Volume, scheme and surrounding talent are the name of the game for fantasy football running backs. Oh, and make sure to draft Ryquell Armstead who would be a three-down back in Fournette’s departure. – Bobby Sylvester

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“I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn’t hate me.” – Pam Beesley
While Rob Gronkowski may be silly and goofy off the field, he’s all business on the field. The fact that Tom Brady won’t have a full offseason with his new receivers, you have to wonder if he’ll gravitate towards his old friend Gronkowski. During Gronkowski’s career, he posted top-five-type numbers in 40.9 percent of his games, which is easily the best of all-time. In fact, the closest tight end, Travis Kelce, has posted those numbers in 31.6 percent of his games. While Gronkowski isn’t the young stud he once was, but he should be a consistent presence while on the field with Brady. – Mike Tagliere

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“I am Beyonce, always.” – Michael Scott
WR7, WR6, WR6, WR1 – those are Michael Thomas‘s finishes in each of his first four years. Not only did he set the single-season reception mark last year with 149 grabs, but he has already set the record for most catches in the first five years of a career – DESPITE PLAYING ONLY FOUR SEASONS. Thomas’s incredible catch rate of 80.54% last year was actually regression from his 2018 season, when he had an 85.03% catch rate. Perhaps the most consistent player in all of football and catching passes from the most accurate quarterback in football history, there is just no reason to doubt Thomas with Drew Brees back for another year. He is Beyonce, always! – Dan Harris

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“If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.” – Stanley Hudson
Alvin Kamara is heading into a contract year with the New Orleans Saints and there have been rumors about him being traded away. That hasn’t happened yet and there are reasons to be skeptical that it ever will. Kamara will continue to be a dominant receiving option out of the backfield this upcoming season and should see some positive regression in terms of touchdowns. His six total touchdowns in 2019 were certainly a disappointment compared to the 18 he saw in 2018, but there’s reason to believe that he should bounce back to the middle of those numbers this upcoming season. If he does, Kamara will be back to a top-tier fantasy option. – Kyle Yates

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“If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know that I’d ever been here. And I’d forget, too.” – Ryan Howard
Weeks after the Jets signed Le’Veon Bell to a truly outrageous contract, his new head coach said what we were all thinking, “I don’t think a running back is worth all of that.” Adam Gase didn’t want Bell on his team and it showed last season when Bell dropped from a league-high 406 touches to 311 despite playing just as many games. Behind this lackluster offensive line, Bell is nothing more than an RB2 and has become the forgotten man in fantasy football because of his association with the Jets’ pathetic offense. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they put their money where their mouth was and found a suitable trade partner so we could see Le’Veon return to doing Le’Veon things? – Bobby Sylvester

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“I don’t talk trash, I talk smack. They’re totally different. Trash talk is hypothetical, like: Your mom is so fat she can eat the internet. But smack talk is happening like right now. Like: You’re ugly and I know it for a fact ’cause I got the evidence right there.” – Kelly Kapoor
Baker Mayfield has never been shy and remains as confident as ever. Do you recall how horrendous Jared Goff was under Jeff Fisher back in 2016 where he averaged just 5.3 yards per attempt while throwing five touchdowns and seven interceptions? The very next year, Goff averaged 8.0 yards per attempt with 28 touchdowns and seven interceptions. It just goes to show how big of an effect a coach can have on an offense, especially one led by a young quarterback. Is Kevin Stefanski the right coach? Time will tell, but don’t forget Mayfield was being drafted as the No. 4 quarterback in fantasy drafts last year. The talent is there and the surrounding cast got even better. – Mike Tagliere

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